CHUCK IN A BOX

I’ve just been busy with work, family, and a couple of other projects I’ve been working on.  I have promised myself that I’ll make the time to try to blog every couple of days.

Soooo what’s happened recently….

Um California courts upheld Prop 8, no surprise there, I just wish my ‘brothers and sisters’ would take a step back from all the angry protesting and such and take a look at what the court had to rule on.  If I’m understanding correctly, they were ruling on whether or not Prop 8 was an amendment to the California Constitution or if it was a change to the document.  I think it is just going to take some couple filing a suit and showing that this garbage piece of legislation still flies in the face of California’s Equal Protection Clause and should be stricken.  Again, our founding fathers did NOT mean for the majority to vote on the rules of the minority, that is why we do not have a pure democracy – we have a federated republic.  Most people don’t really know that sadly, even though they know the words to The Pledge of Allegiance, which contains the words “and to the Republic for which it stands”.

Susan Boylelost BGT to Diversity – don’t get me wrong, those dancers are good and I could never begin to do what they can but…..street dancers? Really?  I mean I can see Susan selling out concert halls but, do people pay to go so a street dance troupe?  Well, other than ballet and stuff?  I guess you can tell who I was rooting for, huh?

Well, time to get ready for bed.  Gotta be up at 5 AM – weeeeeeeee fun.

Dunno her position on Prop 8, just happened to find this and thought it was funny.

Like some tired old Klansman of days gone by, Prop 8 supporters were trying to hide their faces behind the white sheets/hoods of anonymity.  But a Federal judge has denied Prop 8 supporters request to withhold disclosure of the names and address of Prop 8 supporters (you know the ones who wanted to ban same-sex marriage in CA) – as noted in the LA Times.  If they are so proud of their cause/support, why would they be ashamed of their support of said support being made public.  

I, personally, prefer to know who the bigots are – yes, I understand that people are entitled to their opinions but, IMHO voting to TAKE AWAY rights of others makes you a bigot….YES so, I really like this handy database I found that lets me see who donated what and who they work for.  Wow, imagine my surprise when I found people in Virginia that work for huge companies that have impressive diversity policies that donated to take away rights of their fellow citizens.  Even a few people in Richmond donated to Yes on 8 – luckily, the majority of the donors (local) donated to fight against the proposition.

Join the Impact is seeking to gather at least one million signatures on an Open Letter to President Barack Obama to be delivered to him on his first day in office, in protest of DOMA.

Find out more at Join the Impact!  The event itself will vary by location depending on organizers availability and local sense of how to best do it.  Here’s a link to information for cities in Virginia.

Came across this while reading the Edge and thought it was a really great idea.  From my personal experience, I have found that when people are able to put a ‘human’ face on a thing – it goes a long way.  Get to know me and walk a mile in my shoes before you go judging anyone.  From Get To Know Me First:

In the wake of California’s passage of Proposition 8, a group of gay and lesbian families are taking to the airwaves, producing five 30-second commercials to air on daytime and prime time television throughout the state.  These commercials will run in urban and rural markets on broadcast and cable channels during the Inauguration week in January 2009.  Their purpose is to capture the hearts and minds of people who do not understand why marriage is so important to us.

Intelligent people can talk until the cows come home about whether gays and lesbians should be able to marry, should it be called “marriage,” and what are the implications.  Intelligent people can disagree.

It’s all abstract until they meet us and put a face on the issue.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that comment and I guess my only reaction really is sort of a ‘Yeah – what did you think?’  I don’t go around with a tiara on my head or anything and I certainly don’t introduce myself, “Hi, I’m Chuck – and I’m gay!  Nice to meet you.” but, conversely there is no shame in my game – if someone has the balls to ask me if I’m gay then, I certainly have the balls to answer them honestly.  I’ve gotten the ‘..but you’re so normal’ comment a bit more than I would really like – after all, what is it people are expecting?  I really think the uninformed masses are expecting us (gays and lesbians) to be something akin to what they see in the media.  

Every time I see coverage of an LGBT event or something like a Pride event, inevitably, the media focuses on THE most extreme attendants.  How many times I have seen leather daddies, drag queens, guys in jockstraps and combat boots, dykes on bikes, etc. versus the number of oh say….Log Cabin Republicans or gay/lesbian families with children?  (Side note – I should say that, IMHO, there is nothing wrong with being into leather, drag, etc. if that is your bag – after all, there are also a fair number of heterosexuals in the leather/fetish/cross dressing community.  I think the media focuses too much on those ‘fringe’ groups for ratings and sensationalism instead of showing non-stereotypical gays and lesbians.)

Once people get to know me and are more comfortable around me, the topic of my personal life comes up they are usually very surprised all in all.  I also get comments like, ‘You’re the first gay person I’ve known’ or ‘You’re the first gay person I’ve been comfortable enough with to ask this but…’ – I usually tell them that I am happy to answer their questions.  I would rather people ask me and give me the opportunity to let them be informed versus going around assuming things about me and other LGBT folks (not that I speak for all of us but…).  In the end, most of the folks I talk to come to the realization that, ‘Wow, you’re just like me/us’ and that’s really all I want people to know.

I mean I AM just like you with the exception of something that I actually find about as significant to the whole as the color of my eyes.  I am Chuck; I’m a friend; I’m a son; I’m a brother; I’m a co-worker; I’m a father; I’m a grandfather; I’m a fellow human and…I just ‘happen’ to be gay.  I am so much more than my sexuality, I’m just sorry that there are those out there that seem to focus on that small part of me first and foremost among all of my other qualities and contributions.

We worry about the same things you do – will my son make the right decisions? will the three houses around me sell soon so my property value can recover? will my job still be there 6 months from now?  which bill do I put off paying this month so I can afford to buy my niece a birthday present? should I start saving now for the new windshield I’m going to need for my car to pass inspection? what kind of anniversary present should I get my son and daughter-in-law? which store has the best price on fridge pack sodas this week? etc.

Do I want to destroy marriage?  Do I want to undermine YOUR traditions?  Do I want to flaunt my sexuality?  No, as a matter of fact I.DO.NOT. but, what I do want is to have exactly the same rights and benefits that many heterosexual couples wake up with and take for granted on a daily basis.  If my neighbors husband dies, she is able to receive his pension or social security benefits; if my neighbors wife is in the hospital, he automatically has the right to be there and say what happens if she is unable to do so; if my neighbors husband is placed into a nursing home, she is not forced to sell her home to pay for his care; if my neighbors wife is wrongfully killed in an automobile accident, he has the right to sue for wrongful death or loss of consortium.  There are many more examples of federal and state benefits that heterosexual couples automatically receive just by getting married.

On the order of 1,400 legal rights are conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits. Among them are the rights to:

• joint parenting;
• joint adoption;
• joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
• status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
• joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
• dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support;
• immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
• inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
• joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment;
• inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate);
• benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
• spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home;
• veterans’ discounts on medical care, education, and home loans; joint filing of tax returns;
• joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
• wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children;
• bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
• decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her;
• crime victims’ recovery benefits;
• loss of consortium tort benefits;
• domestic violence protection orders;
• judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
• and more….

Most of these legal and economic benefits cannot be privately arranged or contracted for. For example, absent a legal (or civil) marriage, there is no guaranteed joint responsibility to the partner and to third parties (including children) in such areas as child support, debts to creditors, taxes, etc. In addition, private employers and institutions often give other economic privileges and other benefits (special rates or memberships) only to married couples. And, of course, when people cannot marry, they are denied all the emotional and social benefits and responsibilities of marriage as well.

I like that I’m able to help people understand that we’re just like them – as Keith says about some of the people I’ve complained about at work after finding out that they contribute HEAVILY to anti-gay groups, “You may be the only example of a happy, healthy, normal gay relationship that BLANK ever sees.  By knowing you BLANK may come to understand that maybe everything he/she has been lead to believe really is not true.”  Don’t get me wrong – those anti-gay folks are absolutely entitled to their opinions (otherwise I’d be as guilty of intolerance as some of them are apt to be) HOWEVER, their opinions should not lead them to attempt to legislate the rights of others.

It just boggles my mind that there are SO MANY sites run by ‘Christian’ people whose sole raison d’etre seems to be their preoccupation with homosexuals.  I mean, REALLY, I do not spend my every waking moment worrying about what my heterosexual neighbors may/may not be doing in bed or in their home – why is it that these folks (I refuse to give them the press by linking to their sites) have nothing better to do?  Imagine if all of that energy was put towards feeding the starving here in the US or providing shelter to the homeless or some other cause that is positive.  Oh well, to each their own I suppose. 

Let’s remember, we are a Republic, not a Democracy.  That means that the org chart for our country has everyone reporting to The Constitution – NOT THE PEOPLE.  Think about that.  Neither the president, the courts or even the legislature report to the people.  They report to the Constitution, and are duty bound to uphold the Constitutional Will, not the Peoples’ Will.  Watch this video if you need some basic training on the government of America. We are not a democracy, and never have been. We are a republic. We are a country of laws – and that includes the 14th Amendment.

Do your part to protect marriage – sign a petition to prohibit divorce!

So yeah, I totally agree with this.  Let’s put THIS to a vote and see how well it goes.  I mean putting a law in place to prohibit divorce would go A LOT further to protecting marriage than denying it to same sex couples.  I mean hey! It’s in the Bible – ‘What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder’ – right?  Didn’t they stone people for getting divorced in those days too – but then again, isn’t that contradictory to the whole…’Thou Shalt Not Kill’ commandment?  Oh well, let’s just settle for making heterosexual divorce illegal.

Because of Campbell’s advertising in The Advocate, the American Family Association is starting a campaign to stop Campbell’s from promoting the ‘Gay Agenda’ (I know…I know….I STILL haven’t received MY copy either).  I just have to say how freaking ironic it is that this kind of thing happens, especially when those same groups decry gays and lesbians for ‘Blacklisting‘ people or organizations that supported Prop 8 in California.  So, it’s okay for them to put their money where their mouth is by boycotting Campbell’s BUT it’s NOT okay if we do it?

Clearly some people just don’t get hypocrisy – do they?  I’m going to encourage everyone I know – and ask you to as well – to contact Campbell’s in FAVOR of what they are doing.  I think it’s brilliant for companies to finally realize the financial impact that the gay/lesbian community has on the economy.  Our community contributes $700 billion a year to this economy and I think as a rule we (gay and lesbian households) typically have more disposable income – mostly due to the fact that most of us do not have children/grandchildren to support.

SO!  Make sure you contact Campbell’s (email Mr. Douglas R. Conant (douglas_r_conant@cambellsoup.com), President Campbell’s Soup Company) or call them at 1-800-442-7684 or: 1-800-257-8443 and tell them how much you appreciate being included in their target audience, I know I am! 

From Beetle Blogger:

  

Campbell Soup Cans by artist Steve Kaufman

Campbell Soup Company Embraces Homosexual Agenda

This information is from the American Family Association —–Beetle Blogger

…like ripping apart about 18,000 legally married couples, now does it?  It’s not enough that Prop 8 put people’s (read as United States Citizens) rights up for popular vote – which should NEVER be the case but, now they want to nullify the 18K marriages that were performed while same-sex marriage was legal in CA.  I never thought about it until Keith mentioned something to me about it but, human CIVIL and EQUAL rights should never be put to majority vote.  I mean would Nazi era Germans have voted to give Jews equal rights?  How about antebellum Southerners voting to give African slaves equal rights?  Hell up until the mid to late 60′s most Southerns would not have voted to give interracial couples the right to marry.  I think it was Gandhi who said that quality of democracy should be judged from the way minorities are treated.  Then again, he’s also responsible for one of my FAVORITE quotes, “I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians, for they are so unlike your Christ.”

And all this hoopla from Warren about ‘for 5000 years, marriage has always been between 1 man and 1 woman’ – I’m sorry….what planet is he from or does he just not know ANYTHING about history or his very own Bible?  Just look at Abraham, he slept with his servant when he found out that his beloved wife Sarah was not capable of bearing children. Or how about Jacob, who fathered children with four different women (two sisters and their servants)? Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon as well as the kings of Judah and Israel—all these were polygamists – so it really is hard to swallow that marriage has ALWAYS been 1 man, 1 woman….don’tcha think?

Even Jesus was single and preached an indifference to earthly attachments—especially family. His apostle Paul, who was also single, saw marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to control their animal lust. “It is better to marry than to burn with passion,” says Paul, which has to be one of, if not THE, most lukewarm endorsements of marriage ever uttered.

So, while the Bible and Jesus say many important things about love and family, neither explicitly defines marriage as between one man and one woman. And second, as the examples above illustrate, no intelligent, modern person wants marriage, theirs or anyone’s, to look anything like what the Bible describes.

Yeah I thought this was much more entertaining than any Saturday morning comics.  Found over on Queers United a story about Princeton University students and “Princeton Proposition 8″.  Poking a bit of fun at California’s Prop 8,  the Princeton version would ensure that sidewalks be protected for sophomores, juniors, seniors, grad students and faculty members and make sure that freshmen activists are not permitted to betray the will of the majority of the campus. Proponents of “Princeton Proposition 8″ say they love freshmen, but want to protect traditional sidewalks, while opponents say that “separate is not equal.”