I guess it’s a good thing I checked on the delivery status of something that was supposed to be delivered on Monday and that Keith noticed his name was crossed out on the Pottery Barn catalog and pondered at not receiving any mail recently addressed to him….no telling how long this woulda gone on.

Way to Go!  USPS, I applaud you and you inability to read/process things correctly…..and you want what kind of rate increase next for your outstanding customer service?

Just Say No!

I’m free of that bit of nonsense.  All friends removed, account deactivated….tah dah!  I figure if they are important enough to me, I’ll talk to them the old fashioned way….on the phone or in person….and….of course the not-so-old fashioned method of email – though I guess that would count as letter writing which WOULD be old fashioned.

Eh my parents and grandparents never needed social networking sites….why do I?  For all it’s members and features and what not, FB really was basically a MySpace for grown-ups…minus the tacky ‘Pimp MySpace’ layouts.  Now I don’t have to worry about drama, lame updates, or folks being critical of my posting style/substance.

Free at last, Free at last….Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last……

the partners would still not have access to primary health insurance or to pensions.

Soooo after you bust your ass for them for 30 plus years, make it to retirement, enjoy that for a while and pass on, your surviving spouse – That’s right…SPOUSE – is not eligible to benefit from your pension.  Fine then take away that benefit for married, heterosexual Federal employees if it is not such a big deal.  Betcha that ain’t gonna happen.

I do agree with the Obama administration in that the LGBT community needs to chill the f%^$ out a little bit and give the man a chance to do what he can.  We’re sounding no better than those pesky neo-cons who are giving him a raft of shit for not being able to fix in 6 months what Dubya screwed up in 8 YEARS.

Oh yeah and the “poll” on the WTVR site saying 60% thing same-sex benefits for federal employees is a bad idea and only 30% think it is okay…why am I not surprised?  I DO live in the state Commonwealth of Bubbas.

So I’m house sitting for my best friend Ben and his husband Tim while they are in Phoenix visiting Tim’s parents, not a bad gig at all.  The house is great, tons of movies, the dogs are easy, takes less time to get to work than driving from P’Burg, etc. but, this morning the house alarm starts beeping at 3:30. 

Now, maybe … just maybe, watching the extended uncut version of  The Strangers was not my best idea last night.  When the beeping starts all I can think is “OMG WTF do I do now there might be someone in the house!”   I cannot explain just how weird it felt to have the fight or flight thing kick in and the adrenaline rush.  Let’s quietly open the bedroom door and see if we hear anything downstairs in the totally dark 3000+ sq. foot house.  Out onto the landing I creep and turn on the foyer light still listening – what if they are in the shadows?  I summon my inner ‘butch’ and yell out “Hey, is someone down there?!” (Yes, like the criminale’s are gonna answer me?)  No answer.  I start realizing that if the alarm had actually been set off, surly the alarm company would have called by now asking if everything was okay, right?  Next I decide I shall pull a Montgomery Burns and order Smithers to ‘Release the Hounds!’ (Said hounds being a teacup Chihuahua and 2 small Cockapoos).  They don’t exactly go charging downstairs either….nice.

NOT what I wanted to see.

I decided to butch it up even more and try to find something to bash possible intruders with – now Ben and Tim have lots of nice things, a collection of ruby glass, various pottery pieces (yeah I’ll throw a piece of Roseville pottery…NOT), and other decorative objet d’art but nothing really usable as a weapon.  I finally settle on a metal finial/obelisk that I could use as a club…I guess and start downstairs with telephone, alarm fob (panic button FTW!), dogs (even remembered that I had to carry Lucy – the Chihuahua – downstairs).  Wow if a burglar had been there, imagine the site…..white guy in t-shirt and sweat shorts with pockets bulging from stuff; a chihuahua in one hand and an artful club in the other – I could disable the intruder with fits of laughter maybe?

Walking around turning on EVERY single light in the house and checking all doors and such didn’t take much time and I started to calm down.  Maybe it was a power surge/outage – nope, the clocks on the stove, microwave, dishwasher, etc. were not doing that flashy thing.  I did, however, draw the line at creeping around outside to see if anyone was out there but, surely a brightly lit house would deter them if they were still lurking.  Certainly the alarm company would have called if someone had set off the motion detectors or one of the window/door sensors.

Now I was wide awake sooooooooo let’s get the girls breakfast and make coffee … since we’re already up (I doubt I can convey the sarcasm strongly enough).  I guess this means that I will get an early start to head to the ‘burg to visit with Keith, my pups, and my bed today.  Tomorrow, he’s going to come up to Richmond and spend the day with me here. 

So yeah, that’s my day so far and it’s only *looks at clock* 5:41 AM now.  YAY the coffee is ready!

Wow - I look kinda blue in this....

Well, really only my right eye and I’m getting DAMNED tired of it.  Somehow I’ve managed pick up an eye infection that I’ve had since .. oh about this time last year .. called Blepharitis and it’s not fun.  I went to Doc in a Box (aka Patient First) before my trip to Halifax last year and got an antibiotic goo (not the technical term for it) to put in my eye.  That in itself was a pain in the arse and seemed to clear it up.

Several weeks ago I went back to Patient First for the same problem – only this time it was on the inside of my eye as opposed to the outer eye and I got a bit stronger antibiotic in the form of eye drops.  Now, this is mostly my own fault but I did not administer said eye drops as prescribed by the doctor and then a few days into the treatment, Keith and I came home to find that Ollie had managed to get a hold of the bottle and ate/chewed it up.  To date, Ollie has not had any problems other than his normal weirdness due to ingesting antibiotic eye drops.

NOW – I have it again and well, I guess I’ll be going back to the doctor again.  I think it feels worse than it looks….I would say the feeling is akin to having a really potent shampoo in the eye burn and not being able to do anything about it.  It’s also fun when it “weeps” – yeah it waters and then gets all crusty….sounds pretty huh?  Dontcha wish yer girlfriend was hot like me? Dontcha?

Looks like the causes of this are either scalp dandruff (hey I wash my hair every day dammit), acne rosacea, or a bacterial (Staph) infection.  I don’t have acne rosacea (that I know of) so I guess it could only be one of the other two – gah and I’m sorta anal about my personal hygeine – what with being a ‘mo and everything so this is totally bumming me out – well, that and feeling like everyone is staring at my Quasimodo eye.

Needless to say this has already ruffled the feathers of various ‘Pro-Family’/'Pro-American’ groups like the AFA into one of their many temper tantrum ‘we must boycott this company until they bend to our will’ campaigns – NOT like that’s anything new for them (see my Hypocrites are Hilarious post).  I got an alert from this first from Christwire which linked to something called The Truth Manifesto – it’s funny these people are neither ‘Christlike’ or ‘Truthful’ but they have actually set up an official ‘Boycott Pepsico‘ website.  Give me a break – Pepsi donates to many, many organizations and causes; these folks need to get their collective panties out of a wad and grow up.

I would urge everyone to counter the negative effects of the AFA boycott by SUPPORTING Pepsico if you agree with their national program designed for workplace environments.  From a letter from Paul Boykas, Director, Public Policy at Pepsico to Donald  E. Wildmon, American Family Association

The initiative seeks to promote further understanding and equality in the places where people spend much of their time at work.

Among the values promoted by the PepsiCo Foundation is ensuring a work environment that is respectful and where associates are valued for their contributions.  I hope this helps  clarify this grant by the PepsiCo Foundation.

So go out and buy lots of Pepsico Brand Products and make sure to contact Pepsico to tell them that you appreciate Pepsi’s commitment to being ‘Something for Everyone‘.

Every time I see coverage of an LGBT event or something like a Pride event, inevitably, the media focuses on THE most extreme attendants.  How many times I have seen leather daddies, drag queens, guys in jockstraps and combat boots, dykes on bikes, etc. versus the number of oh say….Log Cabin Republicans or gay/lesbian families with children?  (Side note – I should say that, IMHO, there is nothing wrong with being into leather, drag, etc. if that is your bag – after all, there are also a fair number of heterosexuals in the leather/fetish/cross dressing community.  I think the media focuses too much on those ‘fringe’ groups for ratings and sensationalism instead of showing non-stereotypical gays and lesbians.)

Once people get to know me and are more comfortable around me, the topic of my personal life comes up they are usually very surprised all in all.  I also get comments like, ‘You’re the first gay person I’ve known’ or ‘You’re the first gay person I’ve been comfortable enough with to ask this but…’ – I usually tell them that I am happy to answer their questions.  I would rather people ask me and give me the opportunity to let them be informed versus going around assuming things about me and other LGBT folks (not that I speak for all of us but…).  In the end, most of the folks I talk to come to the realization that, ‘Wow, you’re just like me/us’ and that’s really all I want people to know.

I mean I AM just like you with the exception of something that I actually find about as significant to the whole as the color of my eyes.  I am Chuck; I’m a friend; I’m a son; I’m a brother; I’m a co-worker; I’m a father; I’m a grandfather; I’m a fellow human and…I just ‘happen’ to be gay.  I am so much more than my sexuality, I’m just sorry that there are those out there that seem to focus on that small part of me first and foremost among all of my other qualities and contributions.

We worry about the same things you do – will my son make the right decisions? will the three houses around me sell soon so my property value can recover? will my job still be there 6 months from now?  which bill do I put off paying this month so I can afford to buy my niece a birthday present? should I start saving now for the new windshield I’m going to need for my car to pass inspection? what kind of anniversary present should I get my son and daughter-in-law? which store has the best price on fridge pack sodas this week? etc.

Do I want to destroy marriage?  Do I want to undermine YOUR traditions?  Do I want to flaunt my sexuality?  No, as a matter of fact I.DO.NOT. but, what I do want is to have exactly the same rights and benefits that many heterosexual couples wake up with and take for granted on a daily basis.  If my neighbors husband dies, she is able to receive his pension or social security benefits; if my neighbors wife is in the hospital, he automatically has the right to be there and say what happens if she is unable to do so; if my neighbors husband is placed into a nursing home, she is not forced to sell her home to pay for his care; if my neighbors wife is wrongfully killed in an automobile accident, he has the right to sue for wrongful death or loss of consortium.  There are many more examples of federal and state benefits that heterosexual couples automatically receive just by getting married.

On the order of 1,400 legal rights are conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits. Among them are the rights to:

• joint parenting;
• joint adoption;
• joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
• status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
• joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
• dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support;
• immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
• inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
• joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment;
• inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate);
• benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
• spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home;
• veterans’ discounts on medical care, education, and home loans; joint filing of tax returns;
• joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
• wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children;
• bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
• decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her;
• crime victims’ recovery benefits;
• loss of consortium tort benefits;
• domestic violence protection orders;
• judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
• and more….

Most of these legal and economic benefits cannot be privately arranged or contracted for. For example, absent a legal (or civil) marriage, there is no guaranteed joint responsibility to the partner and to third parties (including children) in such areas as child support, debts to creditors, taxes, etc. In addition, private employers and institutions often give other economic privileges and other benefits (special rates or memberships) only to married couples. And, of course, when people cannot marry, they are denied all the emotional and social benefits and responsibilities of marriage as well.

I like that I’m able to help people understand that we’re just like them – as Keith says about some of the people I’ve complained about at work after finding out that they contribute HEAVILY to anti-gay groups, “You may be the only example of a happy, healthy, normal gay relationship that BLANK ever sees.  By knowing you BLANK may come to understand that maybe everything he/she has been lead to believe really is not true.”  Don’t get me wrong – those anti-gay folks are absolutely entitled to their opinions (otherwise I’d be as guilty of intolerance as some of them are apt to be) HOWEVER, their opinions should not lead them to attempt to legislate the rights of others.

It just boggles my mind that there are SO MANY sites run by ‘Christian’ people whose sole raison d’etre seems to be their preoccupation with homosexuals.  I mean, REALLY, I do not spend my every waking moment worrying about what my heterosexual neighbors may/may not be doing in bed or in their home – why is it that these folks (I refuse to give them the press by linking to their sites) have nothing better to do?  Imagine if all of that energy was put towards feeding the starving here in the US or providing shelter to the homeless or some other cause that is positive.  Oh well, to each their own I suppose. 

Let’s remember, we are a Republic, not a Democracy.  That means that the org chart for our country has everyone reporting to The Constitution – NOT THE PEOPLE.  Think about that.  Neither the president, the courts or even the legislature report to the people.  They report to the Constitution, and are duty bound to uphold the Constitutional Will, not the Peoples’ Will.  Watch this video if you need some basic training on the government of America. We are not a democracy, and never have been. We are a republic. We are a country of laws – and that includes the 14th Amendment.

“Do yourself a favor, stay in Colonial Heights near the mall, or stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Dinwiddie.” – that sounds like me when I go on my, ‘I’m not going to support a single Petersburg business except for Kristy’s because I hate living in this city!’ tangent with Keith.  Maybe if the city did a bit more to attract businesses where I would shop frequently *shrug* – Don’t get me wrong – Old Towne is neat if your into Antiques, Over-priced clothing, Dining out, or Beauty Treatments.  I guess the advent of the SouthPark Mall area (Southpark Blvd. and Charles Dimmock Pkwy) and shops along Temple Ave. (all of which is in Colonial Heights) spelled the death bell for Petersburg.  I really think there is something to the ‘build it and they will come’ mantra – they (Colonial Heights and Dinwiddie) just ‘built’ it first.

Interestingly enough, most of the stores that I COULD shop at in Petersburg have counter parts just a few miles away in Colonial Heights, Chester, or Chesterfield and I go there.  I’m sorry but I’ll travel to Ruffin Mill Road for a McDonald’s that understands the concept of fast food, service and cleanliness.  Sadly the pool of job applicants in Petersburg is rather lackluster – to say the least.  (Not that you cannot get bad service anywhere – there just seems to be a greater chance to encounter said service in Petersburg – or at least that’s my observation over the last 3 years living here).  I’ll save my stories of sucky service for another day though.

And all this hoopla from Warren about ‘for 5000 years, marriage has always been between 1 man and 1 woman’ – I’m sorry….what planet is he from or does he just not know ANYTHING about history or his very own Bible?  Just look at Abraham, he slept with his servant when he found out that his beloved wife Sarah was not capable of bearing children. Or how about Jacob, who fathered children with four different women (two sisters and their servants)? Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon as well as the kings of Judah and Israel—all these were polygamists – so it really is hard to swallow that marriage has ALWAYS been 1 man, 1 woman….don’tcha think?

Even Jesus was single and preached an indifference to earthly attachments—especially family. His apostle Paul, who was also single, saw marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to control their animal lust. “It is better to marry than to burn with passion,” says Paul, which has to be one of, if not THE, most lukewarm endorsements of marriage ever uttered.

So, while the Bible and Jesus say many important things about love and family, neither explicitly defines marriage as between one man and one woman. And second, as the examples above illustrate, no intelligent, modern person wants marriage, theirs or anyone’s, to look anything like what the Bible describes.